Process

All in all, it was a good christmas.

I finally realized that maybe Christmas is about giving and receiving. Just depends on what you're giving and what you're receiving. Getting a digital camera from your boyfriend and not taking it for granted. Giving a hot meal to a homeless man and KNOWING you did good.

The thought of becoming a Childrens Pastor also crossed my head during the break...not sure what to make of that.

And I got really cute brown boots....and Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell.

My sister also pointed out to me that in the book it talks about how "virgin" in the hebrew Language means having sex once and getting pregnant...and that phrase made her small group pause. But why should it? Mary was a woman of God- so she would've been a virgin in the "english" way if you will.

And today- I woke up at 12:30 Most possibly the latest I've ever woken up on a Monday.

Luke and I went shopping yesterday. While driving home, we started to slow down behind a long line of cars and i saw a... i dare to say homeless though he might have a home- whatever it may be. He held up a simple cardboard sign, "Only 1.00". The thought of rolling down my window and giving a dollar to him crossed my mind considering he was only, at the most, five feet away. But the thought vanished. I looked at Luke and watched him grab his wallet from his back pocket. "It's only three dollars" he explained to me, opening his wallet. That was all he carried, and this man was only asking for one dollar. I gave Luke a sympethic look, and told him it would be better to feed him, because who knows what he would spend that money on...of if he even had money on him already.
I felt like a cynic as we drove away. The thought of giving him money barely passed through my head, but Luke was actually going to do it. But I figured he understood my thought process. We had both been introduced into the world of homelessness caused by addictions. Luke had to understand.
But what if the man had better intentions? And what if we had invited him into the car and took him to Elmers, for a salad or a burger? The circumstances could've changed to accomadate this man instead of us.
Maybe I was a little hard hearted, and maybe Luke was Naive, but what if not? If Luke was in the right mindset and I wasn't....I guess I'll never know for sure.

I went to go get my check today. Despite the fact that I get paid every two weeks, and sometimes that means 3 times a month, it's not a huge paycheck and i'm feeling a little short on money.

Which is just obviously ridiculous.

And after being faced with problems my extended family (aka Lukes family), i realize that my mom was right. After getting my check we drove to the store to join the mobs of crazy people freaking out (aka christmas shoppers). She told me that being here is not about doing what's right.

...

It's about getting as close to God as you can so that when you do screw up- He can still use you.

Very profound i think.

Out of the mouths of mothers...

I changed my name...of my blog i mean.

It seemed more fitting.

We're all going through a process... of something. Currently it may be that we're in the process of getting presents for those we love. Or something like Parenting, or for everyone- growing old. It's all a process.

So...thats what this blog is.